ZOMBIE...Jump the Shark

Zombie (Zombi 2) (NR) 1979


There are any number of horrible film images that will permanently stain your psyche like coffee on a car seat. There is the alien playing "peekaboo" from John Hurt's chest cavity. There is the head of a bespectacled "scanner" exploding like a ripe melon. There is Kristen Stewart "acting."

But every so often a film comes along that leaves an actual patina on one's cerebral cortex. (Stop being so whiny and look it up.)  

Zombie is one of those movies.

If I were to tell you that there is a scene in this movie of a zombie attacking an actual shark (before the advent of CGI) you would probably say to me, "Mr. Reviewer, that must be the most amazing scene in this 1979 Italian exploitation film directed by Lucio Fulci!"

To which I would reply, "Call me Raving...'Mr. Reviewer' is my dad."

And also, "You're stupid."

Because dear reader, there are a BAZILLION amazing scenes in this movie! (Give or take.)

The film begins with a bullet to the burlap-bagged face of (SPOILER ALERT!) an undead person, and almost immediately we cut to a large sailboat drifting around New York Harbor seemingly unattended. The authorities board the vessel and believe it is deserted until one officer takes a peek in the storage compartment and gets his carotid artery chewed out by an undead Uncle Fester wannabe.

Enter Tisa Farrow, a wide-eyed stick figure who confirms that the ship does indeed belong to her father. Her wooden acting and inflection-less delivery make it unclear, but as far as we can tell she is either really upset that he is missing, or she is having a hard time deciding between a glass of water or a few deep breaths of air for lunch. With the help of a smarmy British reporter (is there any other kind?) she finds herself on the tropical island where her father had been working.

Let the zombie chow down begin!

From here we get lots of splatter shots involving bright red blood and gratuitous gore. One infamous scene in particular will leave you making sounds you never knew existed.

Because you know how sometimes you get something in your eye? And then your eye gets punctured like a water balloon? And then the blood and brains leak out of your empty eye socket like marmalade? And then you scream as you're getting eaten alive by a zombie type person?

It's like that.

Zombie is an above average 1970s grindhouse film, meaning the production values are better than "made for television" but not quite "is that my lunch on the floor?" Most of the gore will seem silly to those fans firmly entrenched in the Industrial Light and Magic camp. But the charm of throwback horror movies is the obvious love and dedication that went into making them.

Thirty years ago it took more to bring the dead back to life than a couple nerdy college grads rendering nondescript and interchangeable monsters on a computer screen. Out of necessity there was an emphasis on creativity and ingenuity that made these films fun to watch on an entirely different level then say, The Walking Dead. 

So do yourself a favor. Track down this gleefully crude parade of prosthetic goo and corn syrup. Laugh between screams. And enjoy the best that 1970s grindhouse has to offer. Just remember one thing. Italian horror is a lot like spaghetti sauce.

It's going to leave a stain.

 

Zombie Trailer