February 12, 2018
A masked man dressed like a tree with Thousand Cankers Disease stalks the woods slaughtering self-absorbed college drop outs with a twelve-inch metal phallic that looks like the door panel from a rusty Ford Pinto. But nothing about the story matters. Lake Nowhere's appeal is in its presentation. Edited to look like a bootlegged VHS tape complete with transfer errors and "home video" drop-ins, and front-loaded with bogus Coming Features and a commercial, this grainy grue is best watched as a love letter to the grindhouse era of drive-in movies. Despite its burger-and-fries budget, the acting is decent, the gore is realistic, and the ending is a creep show. If you are old enough to remember the exhilaration of getting your hands on a half-chewed tape of some nasty underground movie your parents refused to let you watch, Lake Nowhere is for you.
Lake Nowhere Trailer