HEADLESS

Not Rated
2015

A feel good story about a boy kept in a cage by his crazy mother and sadistic sister who sees visions of a pasty prepubescent kid in a skull mask which causes him to grow up and rape decapitated heads and chew milk-filled eyeballs while hiding scores of half-naked corpses in a muddy cave alongside a faceless mannequin (who wears a shade of lipstick that's not right for her). Afterwards, he tries to avoid a perturbed would-be victim who wants to smash his viscera encrusted face in with a severed human leg. Perfect for fans who don't have all day to vomit. A companion film to the critically acclaimed Found. Recommended for aspiring sociopaths and disgruntled optometrists. 

Headless Trailer

TERRIFIER

Not Rated
2017

Never one to pass up the opportunity to kill strangers and chop off body parts, Art the Clown grabs his Hefty bag full of rusty blades and hammers and dons his most dapper hat then heads out to wreak Halloween havoc on unsuspecting revelers. Two inebriated party goers encounter the rictus grinned lunatic on the dark street, who in turn follows them to the local pizza parlor. The girls are extremely uncomfortable, both because their slutty costumes are pinching their exposed bosoms and because the creepiest clown on Earth keeps staring at them. The mute killer is eventually kicked out for creating the worst (or best, I'm no critic) avant garde feces painting and before you can say "Pennywise is a poser!" the audience is subjected to scenes of graphic violence so intense Eli Roth would probably cover Dr. Mambo's eyes in disgust. Without anything resembling a plot or character development, this film is a test of endurance recommended for seasoned horror fans only. Because when it comes to Halloween, Art is not clowning around.

Terrifier Trailer

THE BURNING

Rated R
1981

The boys of Camp Blackfoot prank the sleeping caretaker by placing a flaming skull next to his greasy mattress which happens to be inside a wooden structure full of dry paper and gas cans. In a totally unforeseen turn of events, the cabin burns to a cinder with "Cropsy" still inside, ruining the camp's "26 days without an accident" record. Years later at Camp Stonewater, a shadowy figure armed with rusty sheers and a bad attitude makes it extremely difficult for the horny camp counselors to not die. Fingers are lost, arms are tossed and eyes are glossed as the human topiary piles up all over camp. In a shocking and in no way telegraphed twist, it is revealed that camp counselor Todd was one of the rascals who burned Cropsy into a toasted marshmallow five years earlier. (Apparently the judicial system didn't recognize "turning a person into a charcoal brisket" as a crime back then.) Full of plot holes and slasher tropes, this Friday the 13th ripoff is still a pretty likable ride. Worth checking out for Jason Alexander and Holly Hunter before they were stars and for a rafting disaster that makes Deliverance look like Dora the Explorer. 

The Burning Trailer